Recreational Soccer - Frequently Asked Questions

These are questions about the Recreational Programs that come up frequently. Click on a question to see the Club's answer. These are organized by Division).

• Why doesn't everyone get a participation award?

Each year, especially at the end of the season, the Club always gets a few complaints from parents about the fact that House League Players 8 years old and older don’t get participation awards. From U3 to U7, there is no formal competition and everyone receives a participation award. Under-8 is the first House League age group that is a “competitive” league. That means that we have referees, we keep standings, have play-offs, and there are winners (who get trophies) and losers (who don’t). Under-8 is the transition year, and this is a hard transition for some parents (probably harder than it is for the players).

Soccer mirrors many aspects of life, and it is an opportunity for kids to learn “life lessons.” Real life isn’t always fair, and we don’t win all the time. We can often learn more by losing than by winning. In soccer, referees make mistakes, players make mistakes, and coaches make mistakes. Sometimes a mistake can decide a game. We have to learn to win and lose gracefully. We have to accept that mistakes will happen and that we can’t control everything. Good coaches teach this to their players and try to influence parents who may have never learned this themselves. When everyone gets a participation award, there can’t be any significant sense of achievement. It says that showing up (at least most of the time) is enough.

Participation awards seem to be a North American thing of relatively recent vintage. It seems to have started with the self-esteem movement of the 1980s, when pop psychology convinced us that “effort” matters more than “success.” Some called this progress; others deemed it hogwash. We have seen it in the schools, along with the more recent attempts to turn it around by defining standard levels of ability and requiring standardized tests. Good coaches and parents will maintain and build a child’s self-esteem even when the child makes a mistake or their team is losing. They will also recognize and celebrate improvement and achievement, even if they are small steps and it isn’t yet providing a victory (or an award).

Teams that overcome adversity and manage to succeed in the end, learn something about perseverence and hard work that can have a positive impact on the lives and attitudes of the players. Even if “succeeding” isn’t winning it all, but winning occasionally or even losing by a much closer margin, the coach can still make this a positive learning experience.

Is Under-8 too young to start competitive play? We don’t think so. We have been doing it for many, many years, and we haven’t seen any evidence that losing creates serious trauma in a seven- or eight-year-old’s life if it is handled properly by the coach and the parents. Adults often treat winning and losing with much more importance than the kids, so that could create a problem in some cases. This is also the age at which Rep teams start, and the U8 Rep Leagues are much more competitive than the Club’s U8 House League.

A competitive league that keeps standings must have winners and losers. It is not compatable with the “participation award” approach. We believe that this is the right approach from U8 and up, so we will continue to operate the league in this manner. Because of the Club’s approach to rebalancing the teams each year instead of allowing players to request their team-mates and coaches, players will generally find themselves on teams with different players and different coaches throughout their years of playing in the House League. Most players will eventually be on winning and losing teams thus providing them with both types of experience.